Helpful tips and tricks lists, encyclopedia thick pseudo text books, interactive websites , sleep trainers, parenting coaches, rescue nannies, and everything in between.
Now, I'm no expert in this field- Like my sweet little girl, I'm experiencing this toddlerhood deal for the very first time. I think recognizing this as common ground is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves, AND for our littles. We are united in our uncertainty- trying & succeeding & failing, then picking ourselves up, dusting off, and trying all over again.
At various points, I will add posts of a more specific nature; dealing with tantrums, picky eaters, sleeping, using a routine, and other various topics that we all seem to struggle with.
None of these will be meant to use as a "how-to" manual, nor will they work for every child. They simply reflect our experience, and what has been successful along our journey.
The most important part of *this* post is to call attention to one important fact- there are a MILLION ways to be a great parent, and YOU are the only one who gets to make the decision of what works best for you, your child, and your family.
Whether you choose to read, research, and routine train, or take it as it comes and do things "on demand", you are doing it right. Whether you co sleep or crib train, cloth diaper or disposable diaper, breast feed or formula feed, you are doing it right. Whether you vaccinate or opt out of doing so, baby led wean or purée feed, medicate for teething pain or buy a raw, unpolished Baltic amber necklace and anklet set- YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT.
Are we noticing a trend here?
It doesn't matter if you had a natural birth, or chose to use medical interventions. It doesn't matter if you are a working parent or a stay at home parent. It doesn't matter if you rock your baby to sleep for 6 months or for two years. It just doesn't matter.
What matters is that you love your child, and that you do your best to keep them healthy, happy, and safe. That you go to bed every night exhausted, but grateful for the little person in your care, and the joy they bring into your life every day. That you are gentle with not only your child, but YOURSELF along this journey of firsts- because no one is perfect at anything without first having the opportunity to make mistakes, and grow from that experience.
Often times, we get dragged into believing that one way of doing things is right, and another wrong. That our own way must be the only way. In this, we not only alienate other tactics- but other parents, and let's face it- being a parent (first time or otherwise) is overwhelming enough without being made to feel like a felon for using strategies that you have put more thought, emotion, and energy into developing than you've ever had to put into anything you've ever done in your life (convincing your own parents to give you boundless freedom at the tender age 16 included!)
So here's what I propose;
Let's just slow down and go a little easier- on our children, on one another, and on ourselves.
This game we're playing isn't easy.. It isn't even hard.. Sometimes it's downright impossible, but it doesn't have to be. Not so long as we can remember that we're all in this together.
There's strength in numbers, and it takes a village to raise a child. So here's to cooperation, positive reinforcement, supportive friends, and ears never too tired to listen.
Keep your chins up, mama bears & papa bears. It's going to be a beautiful life.
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