Surviving toddlerhood

As a first time mom, I've discovered that there seems to be an over abundance of information regarding the "right" ways to raise a well adjusted child; 

Helpful tips and tricks lists, encyclopedia thick pseudo text books, interactive websites , sleep trainers, parenting coaches, rescue nannies, and everything in between. 

Now, I'm no expert in this field- Like my sweet little girl, I'm experiencing this toddlerhood deal for the very first time. I think recognizing this as common ground is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves, AND for our littles. We are united in our uncertainty- trying & succeeding & failing, then picking ourselves up, dusting off, and trying all over again. 

At various points, I will add posts of a more specific nature; dealing with tantrums, picky eaters, sleeping, using a routine, and other various topics that we all seem to struggle with. 

None of these will be meant to use as a "how-to" manual, nor will they work for every child. They simply reflect our experience, and what has been successful along our journey. 

The most important part of *this* post is to call attention to one important fact- there are a MILLION ways to be a great parent, and YOU are the only one who gets to make the decision of what works best for you, your child, and your family. 

Whether you choose to read, research, and routine train, or take it as it comes and do things "on demand", you are doing it right. Whether you co sleep or crib train, cloth diaper or disposable diaper, breast feed or formula feed, you are doing it right. Whether you vaccinate or opt out of doing so, baby led wean or purée feed, medicate for teething pain or buy a raw, unpolished Baltic amber necklace and anklet set- YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT. 

Are we noticing a trend here? 

It doesn't matter if you had a natural birth, or chose to use medical interventions. It doesn't matter if you are a working parent or a stay at home parent. It doesn't matter if you rock your baby to sleep for 6 months or for two years. It just doesn't matter. 

What matters is that you love your child, and that you do your best to keep them healthy, happy, and safe. That you go to bed every night exhausted, but grateful for the little person in your care, and the joy they bring into your life every day. That you are gentle with not only your child, but YOURSELF along this journey of firsts- because no one is perfect at anything without first having the opportunity to make mistakes, and grow from that experience. 

Often times, we get dragged into believing that one way of doing things is right, and another wrong. That our own way must be the only way. In this, we not only alienate other tactics- but other parents, and let's face it- being a parent (first time or otherwise) is overwhelming enough without being made to feel like a felon for using strategies that you have put more thought, emotion, and energy into developing than you've ever had to put into anything you've ever done in your life (convincing your own parents to give you boundless freedom at the tender age 16 included!) 

So here's what I propose;

Let's just slow down and go a little easier- on our children, on one another, and on ourselves. 

This game we're playing isn't easy.. It isn't even hard.. Sometimes it's downright impossible, but it doesn't have to be. Not so long as we can remember that we're all in this together. 

There's strength in numbers, and it takes a village to raise a child. So here's to cooperation, positive reinforcement, supportive friends, and ears never too tired to listen. 

Keep your chins up, mama bears & papa bears. It's going to be a beautiful life. 

An intro to red letters

Id like to begin this where my life truly began- with her. 

The first letter written to my darling daughter, Scarlet-Jeane, when she was just 5 months old. 

You are the meaning to my words, the beat of my heart, & the sunshine in my every day. 

Everything I know of love, I've learned from you. 

My darling Scarlet,

     I want you to remember to always use your words. Express yourself, and get them onto paper. They are beautiful, and powerful, and deep. Use them to find yourself. Get lost in them. Use them to paint your story.  

Allow them to take you back, whenever you may need, to a place where you feel safe, and warm, and loved. 

Empower them with meaning. Saturate them with feeling, and pour them from your heart with everything you have. Let them save you. Let them define you. Let them lead you to a part of yourself you never knew. 

Do not be silent when you feel something. Allow your words to help you fight for what you believe in ...for what you know. If you let them, they will show you your truth; nothing in this life is more important. 

Stand with them; On them, as your solid ground. Believe in the words that find their way to you. Let them flow from you by hand and mouth. Speak beautifully, choose words that dance from your tongue and feel rich. 

Never hide what you have to say, not for anyone or anything. Tell of what you believe in, even if you tremble. Your thoughts and your morals will be the foundation of your character, use your words to project them. 

Read literature and poetry often. It will soothe your soul. Listen to songs with meaningful lyrics. Let people tell you their stories; your own will grow vast with them. Remember to feel what you say, empty words are useless and ugly; always avoid them. 

Be bold and daring and confident in your writing, you will gain strength from your history. You were born with beauty inside of you;  let it out. 

Ask questions about the past. Wonder. Dream. Believe. 

But most importantly, my beautiful, precious girl;  use them to help connect you to both others, and yourself. They should never pull you away, but always toward what you love in your truest of hearts. They will only speak truthfully, and you can trust them if they're pure. 

I love you with the deepest places of my heart. You are my every reason for being, and I am humbled every day, by the blessing that you are in my life. 

Never let the world rob you of your words, my sweet girl, rather enrich the world with them. 

Xoxx -Mama